I was Facestalking today, as I am wont to do, because I still vie for the affections of people who inexplicably didn’t like me in high school and probably still wouldn’t because let’s face it I’m kind of irritating.
I’m turning 30 in a few weeks, so it follows that a lot of people I was at school with are also at that milestone. And according to Facebook, the popular girls have decided to mark the occasion by all going to Byron Bay together to sit around and look far less tired than I.
At first I was like this: “Those vapid whores! Bitches, the lot of them! I can’t believe they still hang out with each other after all these years! How tedious! How awful! How suburban! Haha they are so Adelaide!”
This is because I am continental and live in The Big City.
Then I realised that one of them was holding a baby. A couple more were pregnant. Three had been married in the past 6 months. And there they all were, sitting together and smiling as though high school was yesterday.