ME [in bed]:
Get out of bed everyone!

KIDS:
Okay! Here we go! Now our uniforms are on!

ME [in bed]:
Oh. Er. Feed the dogs!

KIDS:
Okay! We’ve done that! Yay!

ME [still in bed]:
Right! Well, I guess just watch TV or something?

ME SLEEPS. FIFTEEN MINUTES PASS.

ME FLIES OUT OF BED, CRYING.

ME:
We’re late! Quick! Why haven’t you got a banana in your lunch! Well find one! Your socks don’t match! The dogs don’t have any water! Why do I have to do everything! JUST GET IN THE CAR.

KIDS:
We want a new mother!

ALL:
[crying]

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