ME [in bed]:
Get out of bed everyone!
KIDS:
Okay! Here we go! Now our uniforms are on!
ME [in bed]:
Oh. Er. Feed the dogs!
KIDS:
Okay! We’ve done that! Yay!
ME [still in bed]:
Right! Well, I guess just watch TV or something?
ME SLEEPS. FIFTEEN MINUTES PASS.
ME FLIES OUT OF BED, CRYING.
ME:
We’re late! Quick! Why haven’t you got a banana in your lunch! Well find one! Your socks don’t match! The dogs don’t have any water! Why do I have to do everything! JUST GET IN THE CAR.
KIDS:
We want a new mother!
ALL:
[crying]
