Beautiful Things, Book, Writing

Book news and other feelings

May 3, 2014
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You know as well as I do that this post will start with “When I was a little girl.”

When I was a little girl, people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I am so very lucky to have parents who spent the first eighteen years of my life insisting that I could be anything I wanted. “You can be a supreme court judge! You can be a bus driver! You can be a metaphysicist!” They never told me I could be a digital strategist, but I’m sure if such a thing had existed then, they would have.

The fact is, I can only ever remember wanting to be one thing. The specifics changed as I got older, but I have been fundamentally and perhaps unhealthily attached to one distinct goal since 1985, when I developed independent thought.

I wanted to be a writer.

I’ve written before about the process of deciding what kind of writer to be. And you know, writing for magazines and newspapers and the inside of juice lids and websites about nappies is excellent. Every time I reached a milestone as a freelance writer, I felt closer to my goal. I felt my ten-year-old self tugging at my shirt and speaking close to my ear, “We’re going to be a writer! Well, you are. I am stuck here in 1992 and frankly the fashion is miserable.”

The first time I wrote more than 5000 words in a row was NaNoWriMo 2011. It was a genuinely appalling story about a woman who was in love with her best friend, and his wife got cancer, then the best friend got pregnant, and they gave the baby to the dying wife. It was like if they fired all the writers on Home & Away and just let infants bang their fists on keyboards. But I finished it, and that was the first time I knew I could.

I started writing LATKES WITH SYLVIA for NaNoWriMo 2012. I wrote about 18,000 words about a woman who was being haunted by her dead mother-in-law while gestating a baby. It wasn’t awful. It was much, much less awful than the previous year.

He was right, though, it wasn’t as good as hers. Four of us sat around Francesca’s dinner table, eating tasteless mince and watery bechamel from Francesca’s plates, drinking stale red wine from Francesca’s glasses. She sat in the chair in the corner and watched as her brothers and son reminisced: nothing could compare to her panettone, Christmas would never be the same, she was literally a saint from heaven. I grew embarrassed for her, but each time I looked over she just sat there, hands folded in her lap, eyes fixated on Dave. Dave, whose hair was plastered against his drunken forehead in liquorice ribbons; whose swollen eyes hardly blinked, staring out at his empty world like black moons.

‘We should go home soon,’ I said. My hips ached from the hours of wooden stools and hard pews and funeral cars.

‘My mother died,’ he said.

‘I know she did.’ I reached for his hand. ‘But we gotta go home sometime.’

‘We are home,’ he said, and Francesca nodded.

Then I put it in the bin, because Francesca was a drag and I wanted the main character to shut the hell up. But I had written this Dave character, and he came with me to the next iteration. I spent eleven months writing a new story about a woman called Meg who had spent her life thinking her father had died, only to uncover a family secret tied up in her own grief. I worked on that story with my very brilliant Writer’s Victoria mentor. It also wasn’t terrible. I think it was probably some of the best writing I’ve done. But I didn’t know what the story was and I couldn’t find a place to hang up my coat while I was in it, so after 60,000 words I put it in the bin.

My mother wore a pink ribbon the day she took us on a picnic. We all went: dad, Jim, Charlie and me, and Sarah in her pusher. We walked along the Yarra where it thinned and twisted to the north, and when we were halfway to town we threw a blanket on the ground and took out our sandwiches.

Under the branches of the silver gums we could have been a real family. Charlie kicked a footy and the dappled light moved in and around my parents’ linked hands. My mother swayed in time with the breeze but no one talked about the redness of her eyes. It might have been the first time we’d all been together without any screaming. It might have been the only time.

Sarah could walk by then. Maybe she was eighteen months old. Tight blonde ringlets and a face like the renaissance and legs that were rounder than they were long. She loved to be by the river. A pigeon: duck! A magpie: duck! The kind of self-assuredness reserved for the very young and the very rich.

Maybe I did see it. A ripple. When the police came to ask their questions, maybe I lied when I told them I didn’t know.

But I couldn’t have. Her shoes are right here in the hall.

But I kept the house from that story, and the man who lived next door, and I smushed Francesca from the first story into Nina from the second story and came out with Sylvia.

And so I started on this version of the story for NaNoWriMo 2013. I took a couple of thousand words from my story about Meg, changed her name to Heather, and wrote. I wrote and wrote and I thought about the things that had been wrong with the old stories, and wrote different things. I wrote and wrote and dripped in the essence of a man I’d seen at the supermarket and the tree outside the library and I sat at that one desk for the whole month and wrote.

“Finishing the draft” had been my goal for 2013, and I did so at just after 10pm on December 31st, at which point I ate pizza.

I was very fortunate after that. Fortunate to have good friends who were willing and able to help with the next part. Fortunate to have interest from people who were able to make decisions about stuff. Extremely fortunate to somehow trick Sophie Hamley from Cameron Creswell into representing me, and then again when Alex Craig at Picador liked it too. When I got the call that started with, “How are you feeling?” and ended with, “PLEASE CALL ME BACK TOMORROW IN CASE THIS IS IMAGINARY.” I sat on the couch and I cried and cried.

And my ten-year-old self was like, “Yeah! Not long now!” and I went to the bookshop and took a photo of the gap where my book will slot in.

Latkes With Sylvia (title TBC) will be published by Picador sometime in autumn 2015, and my next book (which is about an old man who loses his wife in a shell) will be published in 2016, universe willing.

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58 Comments

  • Reply Kimberley May 3, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    Oh golly, so great, Anna! Loved this post. You sound a lot like me. But you know, I can deal with the writing part, it’s the representation and getting it over the line and into the stores that are the struggles for mentally at the moment. Can’t wait to read your book. I’m sure it SINGS. Kx
    Kimberley recently posted..Is It Really Sex That Sells Fiction?My Profile

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:24 am

      Thanks Kim :) There are so many different things to worry about. I’d like to skip right to the part where people have read the book and hated it or liked it but no longer have active, nerve-wracking opinions about it ;)

  • Reply Alana May 3, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    That is just brilliant Anna. So amazing and exciting. Can not wait to read it.
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:25 am

      Thank you so much Alana! It is pretty surreal. x

  • Reply John James May 3, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    I am so happy for you Anna… and I just want to say this to you…

    You have no idea how inspirational this is for me – and it’s weird… I stopped writing a blog post about how I came to write the book I’m working on at the moment, to come here and read your post… and there are so many similarities to your story and where I am today… this gives me so much hope and confidence that one day my books will sit alongside yours in a bookshop somewhere…

    So, thanks for the inspiration – and I can’t wait to read your book! :)
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:27 am

      I’m so glad this post has inspired you JJ. It’s funny how upon reflection now, it didn’t seem like that much work. You just kind of press on and some days it’s joyous and other days it’s hideous but for me it’s been a bit like childbirth, in that I can no longer remember the pain of it.

  • Reply Kelly Exeter May 3, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    Love this. Because you know – most people think that writing a book involves sitting down and just writing a first draft … and there you go. It’s nice to get a good example of the fact that there is so much more involved x
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Yes! I’m just so glad I found out about the “don’t send your first draft” thing before I burned any bridges, you know? ;D Thank goodness for the internet.

  • Reply Shannabananna May 3, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    I am so ridiculously happy for you Anna! I’ve always loved reading everything you write. Can’t wait for the book! You deserve it so much x

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:28 am

      This is so nice, thank you! :D

  • Reply Caroline May 3, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    My favourite blog post of all time.
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:29 am

      :D That sounds like a challenge!

  • Reply bigwords May 3, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    I adore you. I adore your writing. I adore your vulnerability and strength. I can’t wait to see your words, in a novel, which I will pay actual cash to read because to me, my friend, you are all the things I am not. I am so proud of you x
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Gah, you are so very kind. I can’t believe you would buy my silly book instead of cake and hats. I am so grateful for your support.

  • Reply Carli May 3, 2014 at 10:07 pm

    So happy for you Anna, you deserve every success.

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:32 am

      That is so nice of you to say, thanks Carli x

  • Reply Ali May 3, 2014 at 10:18 pm

    Your tenacity to write and write and rewrite is amazing. Thankyou for sharing the truth of what goes into writing a masterpiece.
    Also: “licorice ribbons” get.the.fuck.out.
    Ali recently posted..Hitwave AlisonMy Profile

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:33 am

      Mm, metaphoric liquorice.

      It is probably less “amazing” and more “embarrassed by everything on the page”, though.

  • Reply Rosa May 3, 2014 at 10:37 pm

    Great post – can’t wait for the book!

  • Reply JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) May 4, 2014 at 12:46 am

    Anna, I am so happy for you that I am lost for words. All I know is that I am not at all surprised. You have such a powerful way of melding words together. Words that are so simple and so familiar, like they were meant to be housed together in the same sentence. And most of all you are inspiring me to keep writing. I can’t wait to see your book on the shelf of my local bookshop. I will tell them all I ‘know’ Anna. She’s is more awesome than awesome. x
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:39 am

      Ahh! Jodi! This is so lovely. You have really made my day, thank you. I don’t know what to say! xxxxxxx

  • Reply Lee-Anne May 4, 2014 at 9:12 am

    An impressive feat – congratulations! :)
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  • Reply Lisa May 4, 2014 at 9:34 am

    I even love this story. xxx
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:43 am

      That is delightful :D Thank you Lisa.

  • Reply Naomi Tsvirko May 4, 2014 at 9:42 am

    How exciting!!! Congrats Anna!

  • Reply SegoviaSuz May 4, 2014 at 10:14 am

    So very thrilled for you x

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:45 am

      Thanks Suz, I really appreciate you saying so :D

  • Reply Donna May 4, 2014 at 10:15 am

    So happy for you and so cannot wait to read it! And love this post as it shows the never give up attitude it has taken to get you across the line. Very inspirational xx

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 10:46 am

      Thanks Donna :) It has been a process with a lot of words in it! Hopefully the right ones will end up in the finished product. x

  • Reply Megan Blandford May 4, 2014 at 10:53 am

    You know I’m so, so happy for you, and I’ll be among the first in line to buy your book. Thank you for sharing your process – it’s reading things like this that spur me on to realise the process is important and it’s OK to find it hard work. I hope that my ten-year-old self will one day be pleased with me too. x
    Megan Blandford recently posted..Living out loudMy Profile

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 1:34 pm

      Thanks for your support Megan :) It was hard work, but in retrospect not actually as hard as I’d always imagined. Writing a novel felt like mythology to me, so I was relieved to find that it isn’t!
      x
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  • Reply Annieb25 May 4, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    Bravo Anna. You inspire me to keep going. I watched you in awe through our NANO Facebook group. You deserve this wonderful achievement xxx

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 4, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      That is so nice of you to say Annie, thank you. Looking forward to another year of Nano :D
      Anna Spargo-Ryan recently posted..Book news and other feelingsMy Profile

  • Reply Lindy Alexander May 4, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    What a beautiful post Anna. No trickery involved – your agent and publisher are the lucky ones! Looking forward to reading your books x

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 5, 2014 at 8:15 pm

      Thank you for saying so, Lindy! x
      Anna Spargo-Ryan recently posted..Book news and other feelingsMy Profile

  • Reply Zohra May 4, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Anna, I look forward to reading your book. Congratulations!

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 5, 2014 at 8:15 pm

      Thank you Zohra! :D Most appreciated.
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  • Reply Kristie May 4, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    I’d like an autographed copy please! As I’ve said before your words are beautiful Anna. I wish I could string sentences together like you do.

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 5, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      That is ridiculously lovely of you to say. Just try to stop me ;D
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  • Reply Kelly Morgan May 4, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    I’m so happy for you and so excited for all the people with eyes who will get to soak up your words. I love your writing, you’re a true talent and I’m sure this is just the start of your story. Can’t wait to but it!

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 5, 2014 at 8:18 pm

      You are so kind Kelly, thank you!
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  • Reply Mrs Fringe May 4, 2014 at 10:31 pm

    A beautiful post, perfectly matched with your beautiful fiction. :)
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 5, 2014 at 4:05 pm

      Thank you my friend, and for all your help. x

  • Reply Sam Stone May 5, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    Congrats Anna, that is just great news. I look forward to seeing your books on the shelves and then immersing myself in them.
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 5, 2014 at 8:19 pm

      Thanks so much Sam :) I hope they are worthwhile and good for evenings by the fire.
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  • Reply gM May 6, 2014 at 10:59 pm

    Thank you for sharing this story Anna. Ever since I was a little girl I too have dreamed of writing a novel. Your post is one of the few posts that I’ve found that actually talks about the process in an honest way. It’s inspired me, and I just signed up for NaNoWriMo 2014. Look forward to reading the book!

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan June 11, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      Thanks so much GM! NaNo is the best, I’ll be doing it again this year too. Sorry I missed your comment before now!
      xx
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  • Reply Emily May 8, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    Wonderful post, wonderful news, wonderful grabs. Thanks for sharing them and CONGRATS! So much excitement lately. x
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  • Reply Nikki @ Styling You May 9, 2014 at 12:06 am

    So damn exciting Anna – cannot wait to buy and read it. Congrats too on your AWC Best Blogs win.
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    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan May 9, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      Thanks so much Nikki x And likewise for YOUR much sooner, more actual book! Exciting times :)

  • Reply Cynthia May 22, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    Great News. Put me on the pre-order email list.

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan June 11, 2014 at 3:54 pm

      Oh, thank you Cynthia! :D
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  • Reply Jennifer Morton June 11, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    Inspiring and exciting!! Well done.

    • Reply Anna Spargo-Ryan June 11, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      Thanks Jennifer! It was such a long-held fantasy that it seems very strange to be on this side of it (which is the side before the next bit, and the next bit, and the next bit, but mildly after the “writing a book is impossible!” bit).
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