This image is the wonderful 'Erotica' by Federico Castellon The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life, still, to this very day, even more embarrassing than when my dad found my vibrator collection, and even more embarrassing than when I vomited on a footballer outside Frostbites, and even more embarrassing than publishing a poem called "YOU DID THIS TO ME", happened when I was about 11. I hope my dad doesn't remember, but I expect he does and just hopes we will never talk about it again.
My mother doesn't take shit from anybody. She is kickarse in all the ways available. She is an empowered and balanced and amazing woman. If she weren't my mother already, I would wish that she were. Probably. No offense to my other, hypothetical mother. As far as role models go, she is the cream of the crop. She is a woman doing things in multiple STEM fields, being a caring and supportive mother and grandmother, and looking young and hot always.
Sometimes life calls for a summary post. It's not always easy to make the words come out in the right order, especially if you've been giving them to NaNoWriMo instead. Georgia Six months ago we went to Georgia's teacher in desperation, to
I was Facestalking today, as I am wont to do, because I still vie for the affections of people who inexplicably didn't like me in high school and probably still wouldn't because let's face it I'm kind of irritating. I'm turning
I sat down for a quiet breakfast on my own this morning, and was rather enjoying myself when a toffee-nosed woman in her 60s sat down at the next table. "WAITER!" she bellowed. "I WANT A GLASS OF WATER!" The waiter
Firstly, GOOD ON YOU women speaking out against this kind of bullying. I think that rocks, because it's not okay to bully anyone for anything. But, yet again, the media has sensationalised something in this space, like the "mummy wars",
Yesterday, my mum said to my brother and me, "I can't believe I had these lovely children!" and I remarked that maybe she would be used to the idea after thirty years. "I don't think you ever really get used to it," she said. This is my ninth Mother's Day. Nine years ago I was pregnant to bursting with Georgia. I was twenty and I was terrified. I didn't really feel like I was preparing to be a mother. Somehow it seemed more like the baby would come out and then I'd be the cool much older sister, and my own mum would do most of the work.