Life, Mentals

A letter to a woman I might become one day

November 16, 2014 | 2 Comments

Hey kid,

I came in to check on you tonight and you were still and warm under the blankets. I don’t know if you know this, but your cheeks flush red when you’re dreaming. Tonight I put my fingers on them and noticed how your skin is oilier, rougher. I sat by you with my fingers on your face and my other hand on your back, moving up and down with your breaths. I wondered what you were thinking about, cocooned there. I hoped you were slaying a dragon and hugging a kitten, a whole brood of kittens. I hoped you weren’t in a ravine with avalanches rushing in.

Anyway, this isn’t about how old you’re getting, or where my little baby has gone, or anything so trite. I know you’re growing up; I like it. There is one thing, though. I feel like I made you a promise I’m not sure about. Maybe I didn’t do it explicitly, standing in front of your duck-blanketed cot with my eyes all wet, but I made it just the same.

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Prizes prizes prizes


November 15, 2014 | 3 Comments


Gosh I liked reading your comments. They were lovely and hilarious and kind and gentle and powerful and clever. I did have a clear favourite, but I have to give some runner-up prizes too because there were other truly excellent comments and everyone should read stuff always. And of course I wish everyone could have prizes, but I’m a writer and the sad fact about writers is that they make almost no money with which to buy prizes.

The winner of the 4-year Going Down Swinging subscription is … Continue Reading…

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I don’t eat things with faces

November 14, 2014 | 8 Comments

My nanna has always been a vegetarian. ”I don’t eat things with faces,” she would say. “And anyway, it doesn’t go through my digestive system properly.”

I became a vegetarian when I was fourteen. I don’t have a particular loyalty to things with faces, but this reasoning came in handy when I told my parents of my decision. “Oh yes,” I said, “I am profoundly affected by battery hens. I’ve seen what they do to cattle. It makes me cry when fish suffocate.” They were skeptical. And rightly, because tuckshop sausage rolls were a whole food group to me, and because they didn’t know how to make lunches that weren’t ham sandwiches.

Besides, I was lying.

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Storytelling, Womanhood

What computers taught me about sex

November 11, 2014 | 4 Comments

This image is the wonderful ‘Erotica’ by Federico Castellon

The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life, still, to this very day, even more embarrassing than when my dad found my vibrator collection, and even more embarrassing than when I vomited on a footballer outside Frostbites, and even more embarrassing than publishing a poem called “YOU DID THIS TO ME”, happened when I was about 11. I hope my dad doesn’t remember, but I expect he does and just hopes we will never talk about it again.

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