Prizes prizes prizes


November 15, 2014 | 3 Comments


Gosh I liked reading your comments. They were lovely and hilarious and kind and gentle and powerful and clever. I did have a clear favourite, but I have to give some runner-up prizes too because there were other truly excellent comments and everyone should read stuff always. And of course I wish everyone could have prizes, but I’m a writer and the sad fact about writers is that they make almost no money with which to buy prizes.

The winner of the 4-year Going Down Swinging subscription is … Continue Reading…

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I don’t eat things with faces

November 14, 2014 | 8 Comments

My nanna has always been a vegetarian. ”I don’t eat things with faces,” she would say. “And anyway, it doesn’t go through my digestive system properly.”

I became a vegetarian when I was fourteen. I don’t have a particular loyalty to things with faces, but this reasoning came in handy when I told my parents of my decision. “Oh yes,” I said, “I am profoundly affected by battery hens. I’ve seen what they do to cattle. It makes me cry when fish suffocate.” They were skeptical. And rightly, because tuckshop sausage rolls were a whole food group to me, and because they didn’t know how to make lunches that weren’t ham sandwiches.

Besides, I was lying.

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Storytelling, Womanhood

What computers taught me about sex

November 11, 2014 | 4 Comments

This image is the wonderful ‘Erotica’ by Federico Castellon

The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life, still, to this very day, even more embarrassing than when my dad found my vibrator collection, and even more embarrassing than when I vomited on a footballer outside Frostbites, and even more embarrassing than publishing a poem called “YOU DID THIS TO ME”, happened when I was about 11. I hope my dad doesn’t remember, but I expect he does and just hopes we will never talk about it again.

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Book Reviews

Book Review: Yes Please

November 7, 2014 | 2 Comments

Yes Please

by Amy Poehler
HarperCollins 329 pages

In their words: Powered by Amy’s charming and hilarious, biting yet wise voice, Yes Please is a book is full of words to live by.

It’s hard to resist the comparison between this book and Lena Dunham’s, not least because Amy Poehler herself refers to it in her introduction (alongside other wonderful books like Tina Fey’s Bossypants).

I will start by saying that I didn’t think Yes Please was very funny. I mean, I didn’t laugh once, and I’m the kind of person who laughs so much that I have to be sent away. I’m also a huge fan of Poehler and have Parks and Recreation repeating 24/7 on a dedicated television in my formal lounge area.

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