Why? Because fuck you! – Anna Spargo-Ryan

Why? Because fuck you!

Why? Because fuck you!

There are mornings with children that are not unlike punching yourself in the eye over and over.

Then there is this morning, which was a bit like if I’d dipped my fist in a bucket of acid piranhas covered in nails, and rather than just punching myself in the eye I had ground said fist backwards into my lower intestine.

Three different people have since offered me chocolate, which means it’s likely I’m literally crying without realising. And I ate that chocolate – for breakfast – but it didn’t help. In fact, it made it worse. Now I’m all hopped up on caffeine but still totally miserable which is so much worse and just means I’m POWER CRYING instead of ACCIDENTAL CRYING.

Seriously man, some days, fuck adulthood. Pass the bong.

  • Veronica

    June 28, 2012 at 12:02 pm Reply

    Oh, I hear you. More chocolate for you. And maybe a croissant with delicious filling to balance the caffeine. x

    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      June 28, 2012 at 12:06 pm Reply

      Veronica, are you insisting that I go and find myself an almond croissant right now? Because I will, if you insist that I do.

  • Michaela

    June 28, 2012 at 12:15 pm Reply

    +1 internet hug for you, Anna. Go have a bowl of laksa while watching corgi Youtube vids then curl up in the fetal position for a few hours.

    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      June 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm Reply

      This is an excellent suggestion, and one that I will try out tomorrow x

  • Preston Towers

    June 28, 2012 at 2:15 pm Reply

    Power Crying. Oh, yep. Conveys the image well. I hate mornings, but never quite that much. Sunday evenings, though…

  • Carli

    June 28, 2012 at 2:26 pm Reply

    Hate those mornings Anna, I hope the day improves. I was on kinder duty this morning and I am now considering ditching the mug for the coffee machine and just going straight to the source with my mouth x

  • Rose Wintergreen

    June 28, 2012 at 2:44 pm Reply

    Oh no! So sorry to hear your day is so shitty. I endorse all solutions that involve tasty food. When I’m like this, I’ve found it useful to:
    – walk outside and scream. Loudly. With abandon. Then walk back into the workplace like nothing happened.
    – go for a quick walk, even if it’s just around the block. I find it really hard to make myself do this, but it always helps. (Note: only works if you also force yourself to not look at your phone at all, or use any other technology, and make a conscious effort to look around you to see what’s going on. Nine times out of ten you’ll see someone doing something silly or a cute dog, or notice some rude graffiti, and it will make you crack a smile and/or laugh out loud.)
    – remind myself that all shitty days like this make for great writing/song-writing material.
    – do some research on a dream holiday. Even if I never go, it’s reassuring knowing that I could, theoretically, ditch it all in and go to the Maldives/wherever else if I wanted. It’s what credit cards were made for.

    Big hugs Anna. Hope things pick up for you soon.

    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      June 28, 2012 at 9:30 pm Reply

      Thanks Rose, that’s a really good list. Once I decide to stop wallowing in self pity, I will give it a crack ;) x

  • bigwords

    June 28, 2012 at 10:35 pm Reply

    I hope day got better. Geez those days suck shit. xxxx

  • edenland

    June 29, 2012 at 12:20 am Reply

    True dat. Some mornings are all … pass the bong, shot glasses, meth pipe AND the syringe.

    Fucken bullshit.


    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      June 30, 2012 at 10:39 am Reply

      Or just, shoot me in the head and reanimate me later.

      Thankfully they mostly get better, gradually.

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