I’ll be there for youuuuu coz you’re there for me toooooo – Anna Spargo-Ryan

I’ll be there for youuuuu coz you’re there for me toooooo

I’ll be there for youuuuu coz you’re there for me toooooo

I was Facestalking today, as I am wont to do, because I still vie for the affections of people who inexplicably didn’t like me in high school and probably still wouldn’t because let’s face it I’m kind of irritating.

I’m turning 30 in a few weeks, so it follows that a lot of people I was at school with are also at that milestone. And¬†according to Facebook, the popular¬†girls have decided to mark the occasion by all going to Byron Bay together to sit around and look far less tired than I.

At first I was like this: “Those vapid whores! Bitches, the lot of them! I can’t believe they still hang out with each other after all these years! How tedious! How awful! How suburban! Haha they are so Adelaide!”

This is because I am continental and live in The Big City.

Then I realised that one of them was holding a baby. A couple more were pregnant. Three had been married in the past 6 months. And there they all were, sitting together and smiling as though high school was yesterday.

Read the rest of this post at iVillage!

  • Kirrily

    October 9, 2012 at 9:09 pm Reply

    I will! I can be there. Just name the night and tell me what to say. I’m a mean public speaker and I can even adlib to make it sound like I know what I’m talking about.

    Seriously, though, I can relate. Although I didn’t move cities or schools, my friends evaporated (mostly because I was holding the hairdryer that blasted them all away) and I had to re-establish my friendship base after I lost Ellanor anyway. It’s all as it’s meant, even though, like you, I do sometimes deeply miss and regret not having someone from all that time ago to reminisce with. Anyone who might be able to remember me as the carefree Me who… well, let’s face it, has reinvented herself and isn’t around so much any more.

    Ooooh. Bit wistful for this time on a weeknight!

    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      October 11, 2012 at 3:19 pm Reply

      Oh Kirrily, I will totally piranha you if you’ll have me!

  • Tracy Menzies

    October 9, 2012 at 10:13 pm Reply

    I’ve thought long and hard bout this issue. We took our 15 yo daughter from melb to qld kicking and screaming, she is now at uni with friends in two states and overseas, but sometimes complains about this lack of ongoing friendship. Me, well i had the continuity and dont have any relationship with the ppl i went to school with. Its rose coloured glasses my friend. If its not meant to last, it doesnt. Friendship is what you make it and we idealise those from childhood, coz we were so open then and our new
    adult friendships are oh so more guarded. The question is, how can we make real, enduring friendships,as adults, that make us feel like ppl really KNOW us??

    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      October 11, 2012 at 3:19 pm Reply

      Of course you’re right Tracy, there’s no way of knowing. It’s only been in the past 5 years or so that I’ve really felt okay with making adult friends as an adult. Putting yourself out there is HARD.

  • Stacy

    October 9, 2012 at 10:49 pm Reply

    Is it embarrassing photos you’re looking for? Coz I have a few I can dig out ;).

    I always wonder what it would be like to have close friends who I grew up with. There’s a ridiculous amount of that here in Hobart (which isn’t too surprising since everyone here knows each other). But then, my world diverged pretty swiftly from the world of my high school buddies and then it diverged again a few years ago. I don’t think I would trade my new friends here for old ones I had. However, I am terrified of the prospect of writing up a guest list if I get married. This is why I don’t have birthday parties.

    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      October 11, 2012 at 3:18 pm Reply

      hah, I thought of you as I wrote this post! I think you might be my oldest friend and most likely source of incriminating photos. If you have any, do bring them!

      When I got married I invited about 6 people I wasn’t related to, and half of them I didn’t really even know. Miserable in hindsight.

  • Elizabeth

    October 9, 2012 at 11:44 pm Reply

    I live less than an hour from where I grew up and I still don’t have life-long friends. All my real friends live in the Internet and I like it that way. I spent my 30th with my husband and my daughter and it was better than every birthday of my 20s. Don’t be jealous of them, be you.

  • Jodi Gibson aka Lipgloss Mumma

    October 10, 2012 at 9:26 am Reply

    I sometimes facestalk too on the popular kids who yes – are still all friends. What the…? I am lucky enough to still be close to one of my school friends and we did the baby thing too, twice, which is really nice. I couldn’t have imagined getting through the last few years without her. There is one friend though I miss from school. She was my best friend through all of high school. We used to laugh so much together, but we parted ways and I do long for her friendship.
    I don’t have a lot of close friends, just acquaintances. It would be lovely to have a lot of close girlfriends but I’m not good at the making friends thing (ha ha..I blogged about this today!).
    Anyhow, I’m sure your 30th will be just perfect and those close to you will be there and that is all that matters xx

    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      October 11, 2012 at 3:20 pm Reply

      It’s funny how many of us talk about not being good at making friends as a grown up. Surely we can all get together and be friends with each other? That’s how it works, right?

  • Karen

    October 10, 2012 at 1:27 pm Reply

    The popular kids from every school are still friends because they made it big in high school, and they can’t imagine a world beyond that. What could top being the first to wear a bra and pash *insert name of hot guy here*? Plus, I’ve noticed the popular kids in my year all ended up swapping boyfriends (in some cases, several times) and getting married. It’s kind of incestuous, but they seem to like it that way.
    I was a popular kid in my first high school (I went to three) and the irony is when you’re popular lots of people know you, but not many like you. In fact, I didn’t even like myself very much. It’s much better to walk in your own freaky skin. x

    • Anna Spargo-Ryan

      October 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm Reply

      Thanks for your lovely perspective Karen. Of course you’re right! I’m happy with my lot, and the people I am lucky to call friends now are supremely excellent. I just have a small hole where my old friends should be, I guess.

  • Elizabeth

    October 15, 2012 at 11:34 am Reply

    Hi Anna, just wanted you to know this post had quite a profound effect on me. It really got me thinking. I gave up lots of my friends when I was younger and took on the friends of my husband – what was I thinking! Also don’t lose heart, I didn’t meet my beautiful best friend until I was 40 and she has been like a sister to me, only better. I had given up hope of that ever happening. I have also decided to organise a school reunion, just with my friendship group (not the whole school) and I have already contacted some girls that I have not seen in decades and the response has been really positive. If you knew me this is so totally out of character, I normally wouldn’t organise a trip to the shops let alone this so I am quite proud of myself for stepping outside my comfort zone, so thank you. PS Just found your blog, really impressed.

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