It would be good to just do this somewhere else for a bit
October 2, 2012
I know that all parents are exhausted. Sometimes we do it pretty tough, what with all the constant emotional output and the seemingly endless screaming and all that reminding and asking and begging and pleading could you PLEASE just take your shoes out of the FUCKING HALLWAY?
Do you know what else is hilarious? Divorce. It’s hilarious because you marry this person who turns out to be less helpful than if he wasn’t there at all, and so you leave him and then – get this – he hangs around every day. And you let him, because it’s nice that he wants to be with the kids all the time and you let him, because your boyfriend thinks he’s awesome and you let him, because what kind of person would you be if you told him to piss off but JESUS CHRIST WE ARE DIVORCED.
So I’m doing the Hokey Pokey with Struggle Town and I’m not in love with it. There is no one thing in particular that is sending me to the asylum but the combination of all the things at once has me seriously frayed at the edges. On a day to day basis I’m fine, I’m good, I’m excellent, but then this morning I had to do ten minutes of work before I took the girls to holiday programme and instead of just letting me do it they stood on either side of me and just yelled in my ears “GEORGIA ATE THE LAST BIT OF CEREAL” and “LILY TOOK MY SOCKS ALL THE REST OF THE SOCKS ARE DIRTY” and I yelled at them to please, please just go away for five minutes while I do this and they said okay but they didn’t mean it because one minute later they were back and yelling again.
Then we got in the car and went to holiday programme, and after I dropped them off I sat in my car and the physical manifestation of my incredible guilt just poured off my face for thirty minutes.
When I got home, the animals decided to have a go at it. The dogs barked. The cats meowed. The dogs tried to eat the cats. The cats took my loaf of bread off the bench and hid it. The cats ate the meat I put out to defrost. The dogs pissed inside. The cats tripped me over. Eight times. I stubbed my toe trying to avoid tripping over the cats.
And then I sat in front of my computer and looked at places I could be where these things aren’t. Because quite seriously I keep saying to people that I know, “I am pretty much at the end of my tether and not coping,” and they say “Aw yeah, I know how you feel,” and I am sure they do but if we’re just all not coping together then we’re still MEGA SCREWED. All of us. The not coping isn’t shared. It’s just a bunch of people not coping at the same time.
So I want to know what you have done that’s helped you go from definitely not coping to only mildly not coping. It isn’t a workload thing and it isn’t a parenthood thing and it could be a dog pissing inside thing but really I think it’s just that I haven’t been on a holiday for 8 years and even that was to Adelaide. I’m seriously considering just booking out a house at the beach for a whole month and working from there, because I can, so why wouldn’t I? This is where I want to go. But will it be relaxing, or just relocating the not coping? Please tell me the answers.
Would you go with a stranger from the internet and just be quiet and relaxed in a house at the beach? I think you should come.
I’m Anna, a digital strategist and writer who likes to drink 'Ice Tea' but doesn't understand why it's not called 'Iced Tea'. By night and occasionally morning, I eat things, write things, berate my children, walk my dogs and hug my chocolate.