Mentals – Page 4 – Anna Spargo-Ryan


Keeping an open mind

Part of the reason I'm not better yet is that I every time I walk into a doctor's office I think, "You couldn't possibly know as much about anxiety as I do." I fight them--and myself--every step of the way. Sometimes I make the choice not


Look, blue sky!

I didn't make it to the concert and I feel amazing. It's confusing. Although I didn't make it, I actually got further than I have done in months, so I feel a million bucks. Though I missed the concert, what I got was the sense that I won't


Empty spaces

When I was 15, I sang the Hallelujah Chorus. I practised for months, with the choir on Wednesdays and Thursdays and Saturdays and in private on all the other days. I sang until I had the notes just exactly right and did the final, enormous dress


If I weren’t mental

If I weren't mental, I'd be spending today in a secret laneway bar with my hand inside a man's pocket and my other hand around a drink with a hipster name like 'Pimms No. 1 jar' (because good drinks come in mason jars, also daisies), and I would be listening


Sorry, this is still going.

During "episodes", which is what I like to call periods in which I feel like a sack of hell because it means they will be over one day, I sometimes feel like I've forgotten how to do things. It causes me a lot of grief


When I went to choir and it was fine

Some of the smallest things I accomplish take the most work. Like tonight, Georgia had an open choir rehearsal, which meant all the parents could come along and listen. I lost my head about it all day: this is the kind of thing a kid will remember


The danger of expectation

Unfortunately, speaking about mental illness in an online space doesn't cure you of that mental illness. Sometimes people ask me to talk about my anxiety in a public forum. I have no anxiety about being the centre of attention or speaking in front of a large