January 24, 2013
In
Mentals
My first panic attack
For those of you playing along at home, my panic attack tally this week is: Monday - 18 trillion panic attacks
Mentals
January 22, 2013
In
Mentals
Hey life you’re all dark at the edges, stop it
I'm currently lurking in the dark corners of anxiety. Yes it is fun and you can join me, thank you for asking. It's a fairly bad
December 7, 2012
In
Mentals
The shitty old car
Gaz has a new car. As with most things, I will now use this as an excuse to be introspective and disproportionately emotional about something. He had his old car - the most disastrous 17-year-old Honda with 400,000km on the clock and paint peeling like sunburn and
October 26, 2012
In
Mentals
The fear of open spaces
I'm an agoraphobe. It's funny, I think pretty much everyone knows what one of those is now. It's become a thing that people are. I'd describe my phobia as "moderate". I'm not housebound (unless I really crack the shits and use it as an excuse to
October 22, 2012
In
Actual Work, Beautiful Things, Family, Mentals, Ranting
A bit of manual stimulation
Apparently I found it necessary to buy a typewriter. The good news is that I managed to get it out of its case and on to my desk, whereafter I typed some words and lost my finger between the keys quite often (see Fig. 1). I've
October 14, 2012
In
Beautiful Things, Mentals
A little Probloggery
Sometimes my mental illness offends people. Like if I we're having a conversation and I suddenly find it hard to make eye contact with you because on the other side of my eyeballs is my brain going, "Oh Jesus it's hot in here! Is anyone else
October 2, 2012
In
Mentals
It would be good to just do this somewhere else for a bit
I know that all parents are exhausted. Sometimes we do it pretty tough, what with all the constant emotional output and the seemingly endless screaming and all that reminding and asking and begging and pleading could you PLEASE just take your shoes out of the FUCKING
This is the next chapter
I thought I should keep this in until I was sure I wanted to write it, just in case. You know, history dictates a strong likelihood of pearshapedness. Back in April, I asked Gaz to leave and then I cried for about a week without even
September 10, 2012
In
Mentals
R U OK?
It is almost R U OK? Day again. Hm. Go on, ask me if I'm okay. Let's roleplay. YOU: Anna, R U OK? ME: No, I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14 and exhaust myself every day just trying not to let the anxiety overwhelm me. YOU: Oh. ME: Now what happens? YOU: Call Lifeline? ME:
August 4, 2012
In
Mentals
Good days and bad days
When you have an anxiety disorder, sometimes feeling bad isn’t that different from feeling good. When you feel bad, you wait for the moment of panic to take hold and throw you around until you wish you could cut out your brain and rinse it
July 14, 2012
In
Mentals, The Other Things
The time a man assaulted me for bread
Every Saturday morning I visit a little French bakery and buy bread. I do this because I am Juliette Binoche but also because the bread is astounding and the man who runs it speaks in the most wonderful lilting French accent and sometimes I catch