Retrospective – Anna Spargo-Ryan

Retrospective

Now we are six(+24).

This Saturday coming is my thirtieth birthday. I remember my tenth birthday in particular. I was terrified of being ten. I remember lying on a blue couch and tracing the numbers '1' and '0' in the carpet and crying because I was so bloody old and

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They were more fuchsia, actually

Music. I think. Something is making the balcony vibrate. Is it an earthquake? No, I'm pretty sure it's the music. It was pretty loud inside. I'm standing in a circle with three guys. We're huddled close together, but we needn't be. No one cares. Hell, you

1

Evening the score

I used to fight with my mum like it was a life force. We would go hammer and tongs, I thought. But actually I would go hammer and tongs and she would wonder what exactly she had done wrong and I would wonder why she didn't

3

Yes

When I was 19, I was engaged to a man I had known for less time than it took the kettle to boil. We lived together in a tiny flat that backed against the train line and had a courtyard just big enough for the

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The yellow kite

When I was a little girl, I had a yellow kite with a Carebear on it. I don't remember it, but there are dozens of photos of dad and I playing with it in the backyard. Me and the kite. Him and the kite. Me

3

Father’s Day.

It was Father’s Day. I hadn’t seen my children since Thursday, a fact that my parents were kind enough to remind me of every few minutes. The text messages were to the point: if you were a real mother, you would stay with him; if

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